If Only

Today I was reminded

about all of my mistakes.

I’m trying to remember 

how to give and how to take.

Sometimes I remember 

all the choices in my past.

Some have brought me to a place 

where I know that this can’t last.

All I know now is 

I’ve missed so many chances.

Every day reminds me

of where I could have gone.

Now all of it’s behind me

I just hope it doesn’t blind me.

I’m right here where I’m standing

And this is where I’ve landed.

So why is all that I think—

If only, if only…

It’s hard for me to think of

how my yesterdays have changed me.

But all of this reminds me

that I’m so very lonely.

All I know now is 

I’ve missed so many chances.

Every day reminds me

of where I could have gone.

Now all of it’s behind me

I just hope it doesn’t blind me.

I’m right here where I’m standing

And this is where I’ve landed.

So why is all that I think—

If only, if only…

Everything seems like it’s all about to break.

The wreckage in my life has

caused all this heartbreak.

Some days my past seems like a dream

And now I’m losing all this steam.

But when I look inside my heart

I think I know what’s in my dreams.

Everyone’s seen horror

And everyone’s seen pain,

and the trouble in my mind is that

I see it all so plain.

All I know is that I’ve had 

so many chances find me.

For some reason it all seems

to come back down to timing.

All I know now is 

I’ve missed so many chances.

Every day reminds me

of where I could have gone.

Now all of it’s behind me

I just hope it doesn’t blind me.

I’m right here where I’m standing

And this is where I’ve landed.

So why is all that I think—

If only, if only…

What if I’ve lost my way

And there’s no one left to find me?

What if the keys that hold my heart

are buried now,

captive to the one

who I know I can never see again?

If only, if only…

I’d done something different…

If only, if only…

I’d answered my heart strings…

If only, if only…

You were here today.

Then what?

I’d go back in time.

If only, if only…